Poem - The Endless Whirl

With the flip of a coin

Mind spinning with the Waltzers

You can’t get off 

There’s no escape yet

It can be amazing 

Arms waving in the air 

With a world of bright colours 

Optimism flying around 

 Then the torture 

Making you want to jump 

Escape the reality

That you’ve been forced into

Unwillingly and seemingly

Against everyone in sight

The unpredictable changes 

Harder to control

Erupting in sickness 

But whilst your spinning

Struggling to breathe 

Everyone’s moving so fast 

They can’t see the pain

Oblivious yet caring 

Cry baby maybe 

The broken egg shells

Are you okay? They may say 

When things begin to settle

Yet it’s a risk and its avoided

In the darkest corners

No one dares approach

Fragile and broken 

Emotions running high

The end is near

Reminding you everyday 

Of what it’s like to be torn 

Or uncomfortably elated to life

Confusion pumping constantly

Am I sick? 

The invisible disease 

Tearing relationships apart

Broken leg, yes please

Desperation and envy 

Transfixed into one

The little things causing

A response of mourning 

Unnatural and unreasonable

Uncontrollable and unfair

Embarrassing and selfish

The afterthoughts 

The regrets of actions

Anger tearing through 

Creating a monster

From the devil himself

A good life is never enough

Always something gripping 

A thought that can’t disappear

Promises to change 

Trying so hard to persevere

Not let it control 

Hope taking over 

A sense of achievement 

A Future seemingly bright

Or is this just acceptance 

Embracing the highs 

Hidden demons lurk

Waiting to pounce 

Like a shark Shredding apart

What used to be The rainbow fish

Blood smeared in the blink of an eye

If only there was a shark

To be near and comfort me

The escape one craves

Longing for the release 

To be Free of such curse 

Embedded in the mind

Make a happy place

Good one Dr you understand 

Sympathy following every step

Reported with such caution 

Avoided at all costs 

Relationships in despair

Making it be questioned

Could this just be 

Irrational and all my fault

Dealing with obstacles

As bad as can be 

 Is this my fault?

For Being a twat 

Cause I can get away with it

It can’t be medical 

Surely that’s not possible

Magic blue pills 

A false image

Sticking on a label 

Giving a reason

To be messed up

Justification and answers

No clear direction 

Patiently waiting for 

The next appointment 

To be reassured 

Put under the government 

A procedure rapidly failing 

A need to conquer it

Without pills and therapy

Because I can achieve it all

I’m not one of them 

I just need to accept

A good life needs embracing 

If only it was that easy 

There’s no choice

It often feels

But am I blaming 

Something so simple 

On some ‘condition’.